I've been a busy little B

And at 4' 10" I don't exaggerate about the little.

I haven't been here for a while because I've been so busy writing, being sick, fighting the NHS and dealing with the normal day to day shit that I've been slightly overwhelmed.  I've not actually sat down and written for three weeks now, but I hope to remedy that in a couple of weeks when things hopefully calm the fuck down.

In the meantime, I've managed to make friends and find a home with some like minded walking corpses who take a slightly different view on the whole zombie lifestyle.  For Zombies want to help the life-challenged enjoy their post-death activities and I've been helping the recently re-animated take stock of their legal rights and responsibilities, and the threats facing them from the still-breathing.

The first article I wrote for them is about the burgeoning civil rights movement which gave birth to the Zombie Liberation Front -  Say it Loud, We're Dead and Proud!  The second focuses on the current political climate in the UK and how the undead are suffering as a result - Changes to British Employment Law and the Impact on the Undead

For Zombies have also been kind enough to review Incurable and gave it a royal rotting two severed thumbs up.  Incurable Review by one of my peers

Thanks guys!

For Zombies : helping the life-challenged enjoy their post-death activities

Introducing Z Magazine

The magazine written by zombies for zombies.  And guess who has two articles starting on page 42?

So if you want to find out the link between the diet industry, the fashion industry and the emancipation of zombies, head on over to Z Magazine and educate yourself.

You'll also find a host of other articles by and for zombies, including a very useful guide to making a selection of Zombie Cocktails by my friends over on ForZombies.net

As our American friend would say, enjoy!

Say hello to my little friends ....

Thank you to For Zombies for allowing me to guest on their For Zombies website and helping the life-challenged enjoy their post-death activities. 

I'll be mostly writing about politics, health and wellbeing and feminist issues from the zombie point of view - it's a harsh world out there, and being undead doesn't make it any easier.  So please take the time to visit my new friends and check out their zombilicious, helpful videos while you're there.  After all, we brain-munchers need to stick together.

Say it Loud, We're Dead and Proud

http://www.forzombies.net/

Why I support animal charities ....

Every quarter I choose another charity to support financially. I support animal charities because the animals can't fight for themselves. This month I'll be supporting  Animal Aid , a charity I used to be heavily involved in when younger. They work hard to advocate on behalf of animals, promoting compassion in a cruel world where animals are beaten, murdered, abused and tortured in the name of science, beauty and war.

Animals such as cats, dogs, monkeys, rats and mice are scalded, poisoned, burned, blinded and forced fed bleach and disinfectant so you can clean your house, wear makeup, dye your hair and prevent wrinkles. They're also implanted with cancer cells, have organs removed without anaesthetic, deliberately given horrific and agonising diseases and experimented on to give you 'lifesaving' drugs that cause more problems than they solve.

Two reasons why you should buy 'Incurable'

Because I'm skint, and I'm cursed with Catholic guilt that prevents me from getting involved in some of the blatant PR I see over on Twitter and Facebook.

I'm just not one of those people who can harp on about how fucking great I am, and what a wonderful story Incurable is.  Don't get me wrong, Incurable is a great story, and writing it nearly sent me more insane than I already am.  I just get twinges about promoting it.

But that attitude is about to change.  Despite contacting dozens of magazines, fanzines, standalone blogs and zombie enthusiasts I've not only received pitifully few responses, I've not even had the courtesy of a reply from ninety percent of them.  That's just plain rude.  Not even a 'thankyou but we're swamped and can't possibly take any more', which is fine. Better than just not responding at all, because at the end of the day it's all about scratching each other's backs: you promote something of mine, I'll repay the favour.  It's called old-fashioned courtesy and seems painfully obsolete in the writing world.

So without any further ado, or delay, or whatever, here's a short snippet of Incurable so you can all see what you're missing out on.  Sweet Dreams.


I killed Craig this morning.


He was hard to kill—not like in the movies where the victim just groans and falls over. I'd stabbed him and stabbed him, but he wouldn't die, just stared at me with his mouth flapping open and shut like a grounded fish. So I fetched his hammer from the toolbox under the sink and smashed in his head while he blinked at me with deadpan eyes. Afterwards, he twitched on the kitchen floor in a puddle of blood.

Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Daoibh

I'm Irish and extremely proud of it.  Have a great day, but do me a favour and refrain from putting money in the pockets of those wankers who churn out all that cheap green tat.  They've turned what was a proud and dignified celebration of a culture that has been oppressed for centuries into a drunken tack-o-rama.  In Birmingham, we didn't dare admit we were Irish, let alone openly celebrate it, for fear of violent retribution.  And that was up until only ten years ago, hence my strong feelings about it.

Wearing of the Green (Anonymous) 1798

O Paddy dear, and did ye hear the news that's goin' round?
The shamrock is by law forbid to grow on Irish ground!
No more Saint Patrick's Day we'll keep, his color can't be seen
For there's a cruel law ag'in the Wearin' o' the Green."
I met with Napper Tandy, and he took me by the hand
And he said, "How's poor old Ireland, and how does she stand?"
"She's the most distressful country that ever yet was seen
For they're hanging men and women there for the Wearin' o' the Green."

"So if the color we must wear be England's cruel red
Let it remind us of the blood that Irishmen have shed
And pull the shamrock from your hat, and throw it on the sod
But never fear, 'twill take root there, though underfoot 'tis trod.

When laws can stop the blades of grass from growin' as they grow
And when the leaves in summer-time their color dare not show
Then I will change the color too I wear in my caubeen
But till that day, please God, I'll stick to the Wearin' o' the Green

Can you spell 'normal'?

So I thought I'd better get my head around Photoshop. I did the usual colour splashes, ironing out wrinkles and the like.  Boring.  So I took a favourite photo of mine and did something the Youtube tutor probably never envisaged.

The original ...

... and the Silent Hill version